Thursday, April 29, 2010

a very sad day.....

A very sad day is on the horizon for me. I go back to work Monday. I have known this day was coming for, well since I got pregnant. I knew all along I would have to go back to work but I chose to ignore it and hope maybe something would change. well here we are 3 days away from D day and I haven't dealt with the fact that I will be leaving my sweet baby come Monday at 8:00. I am crying right now writing this. It is so incredibly difficult for me. I just want to stay home and love my sweet boy everyday, I don't want to miss one moment with him. and quite frankly I don't want to be stuck behind a desk all day doing something that means nothing to me anymore now that I have him in my life. People say that I will be fine and it will get easier but I just don't see that right now. Gary and I both think it will be a little hard on Davis too because of how attached he is to me. He is definitely a mama's boy, and I like it that way. All i can think about is him crying for me and not understanding where his mama has gone. I know I'm being dramatic but thats just how i feel. I'm no sure how this is going to go. I will keep you all posted. I plan on pumping every two hours at work, its the least I can do for my sweet sweet boy. Gary's mom will be staying with us for the month of may to keep him until my mom gets out for the summer. He will be in the best hands this month and this summer next to mine so I take comfort in that. I will also be going home everyday for lunch to see him and feed him. we live 5 minutes from where I work so that is good!

Some of my anxiety is stemming from the fact that Davis is having some G.I issues right now that we are trying to get worked out. I have cut out all dairy and it seems to be helping a bit. We go to Shands to see the G.I. specialist May 10th. Hopefully we will get some answers. My prayer is that it is nothing serious and that I can continue to breast feed.
Now for some pictures of that sweet boy!!

I love that little face :)

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